


perfect places

by artificialmelody



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Boarding School AU, Craquaria - Freeform, F/F, Lesbian AU, Pining, Swearing, black haired aquaria, side farraja, side lailadore, tw underage drinking mention, tw underage smoking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2019-07-16 02:09:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16076132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artificialmelody/pseuds/artificialmelody
Summary: Enrolled on a boarding school, Aquaria, Brianna and all their friends try survive until they graduate. But some of them like Aquaria and her friends really don't care about the rules, survivint on their own way. Brianna and her friends otherwise, are the neat model students who does everything right according to the rules.In a chaotic way, Aquaria has a crush on Brianna and in the middle of clandestine parties, cigarette and alcohol, she has to find out how to deal with it besides dealing with the horrible pressure of Charles Academy.





	1. And if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones. 'Cause most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs (prologue)

The steam of the shower with the bad illuminated bathroom made Aquaria’s view blurry. But, she still could make out the image of her friend Aja from the light of their illuminated cigarettes. Special thanks to the place both of them lived, Charles Academy, that didn’t allow them to smoke.

They had to do it in a clandestine way in that small bathroom. They did it with only the flame of their lighter and the dingy light bulb attached to the ceiling on days like that.

Aja had been her roommate since she started going to Charles Academy. Both of them had nicknamed that place ‘’hellhole’', with a lot of affection. The two never got separated which to other students was always mind-boggling.

Charles Academy had been the best boarding schools in the state of New York, with the best students in the state. Some of their students were like Aquaria and Aja: troublemakers. Breaking the rules every single day, and being the opposite of a model student.

Smoking used to relax Aquaria a lot. And since the activities at the academy were about to start, she needed to calm down a little bit. She was lucky to have Aja as her roommate, they were with her at all times, including during her smoking breaks. She wasn’t a model student anymore, as she used to be, but at least her makeup was flawless and she was having fun.

But, the biggest example of a model student was right there, outside of the dorms building. She was having what Aquaria could judge as a witty conversation with one of her friends. Aquaria would never admit she was spying from the bathroom window on that way. She would say Brianna appeared there when she decided to appreciate the view a little bit.

‘’Sis if somebody sees you, we will get so fucked up!’’

Aquaria gasped when her mint-green haired friend interrupted her thoughts. ‘’N-no, relax, I was only seeing how beautiful this landscape is’’

Aja came near the window and pressed their face into the window to see better. spotting Brianna and her friend, a little cocky smile appeared on their face. Aquaria gulped, trying to think of any possible excuses. But for her surprise, they only put out their cigarette and raised one eyebrow.

‘’I swear, what the fuck, Aja?! I was only enjoying the feeling of the nicotine killing my lungs and looking at this, uh, cloudy sky. Isn’t the color grey beautiful?’’

‘’First of all, you love it because you’re such a chaotic smoker. Second, you'd rather blonde curls and dark blue blazer than a grey and boring sky’’

The color on Aquaria’s cheeks was almost matching the red of her lipstick at this point. She was lucky that Brianna had already left because she would notice by how she got red. She knew she was bad at dismissing her crush, but Aquaria never knew Aja had noticed it.

Was she that obvious? She looked like a fool for her in front of other people. But when it was about showing her feelings in front of Brianna she would be different.

Brianna was the kind of person Aquaria desired, but would never get with. She would daydream about Brianna all the time when away from her. But when she actually faces her, somehow she turns to be annoying. She used to piss Brianna off, annoy her in all the possible ways, only to catch her attention. And Brianna, of course, would get confused telling she’s childish.

Aquaria sighed, sat on the bathroom floor, resting her head on the blue tile and still not answering to Aja. They had to realize she was ignoring them, then Aja sat at her side while Aquaria put out her cigarette.

‘’It’s normal to have crushes, it's bullshit that you're such a fucking afraid cunt, and never tell her it’’

‘’Aja, me and her would never match, I’m a mess and she’s like miss perfect’’ Aquaria grumbled ‘’fuck, I need another cigarette’’

‘’Calm down young lady, you already finished smoking that one’’

‘’You sound like one of my parents’’

‘’Both your moms are cool, so I’m honored’' they smiled, putting a hand on Aqua’s shoulder. ''You know I want you to be happy, right?” Aja spoke, grabbing their phone to check the time ”oh shit, we're late for class, C'mon!’’

‘’Since when do we care about being late?’’ She ran her hands down her uniform, talking and brushing off the dirt.

‘’Since I’m almost failing in French, and so are you! The ironic thing is that you go around saying ‘bonjour’, all the time’’

Aquaria flipped her dark black hair over her shoulder: ‘’see? I’m almost fluent’’

They turned off the shower, fixed their appearance a bit and left the room. The campus was empty, almost all the students were at class. But they always could find their people sitting behind a trash can, smoking and chilling out. She had to resist the desire to stay with them, but she and Aja only stopped there to say hello.

Laila and Adore were making out while both of them shared a cigarette, weird, but they looked to enjoy the moment. Raja and raven were talking, then they stopped it to look at Aquaria’s look: She cropped all her uniform. She made the shirt turn into a crop top, made the skirt shorter, and to complete the look she wore fishnets.

Changes in the school’s uniform would get allowed since they followed the dressing code. And that wasn't Aquaria's case, but her friends seemed to like it because they did a positive sign for her.

Also, Jinkx, Pearl and Katya were having a witty - and kinda loud - talk. But what called Aquaria’s attention was Aja’s girlfriend, Farrah, in the middle of that. Farrah was a cute little thing, with pink hair and too much highlighter. She looked so shy and confused on the middle of all those chaotic rebels. She reminded Aquaria of herself when she started hanging out with her friends.

‘’Baby! Why are you not in class?!’’ Aja yelled at Farrah in preoccupation, taking a seat at their girlfriend’s side.

‘’I wanted to hang out with your friends, they seem so nice’’

They stared at the group with a mad face: ‘’if Y'all gave cigarettes to my baby I’ll fucking murder you’’

‘’Bitch, you smoke them as it is your damn religion! Why your girlfriend cannot?’’ Laila smoked her cigarette, giving it to Adore.

‘’Because she is a pure precious angel, and I’ll not let this life ruin her as it ruined mine’’

They kissed Farrah’s cheek, and she laughed a little bit. Aquaria couldn’t understand how they were such a cute couple. She hated to see clingy couples, but when she saw Aja and Farrah she felt her heart warm.

‘’Baby, your life isn’t ruined, you’re perfect as you are!’’

‘’You guys, I’m gonna vomit’’ Raja pretended to vomit pointed a finger to her mouth.

‘’Cool, you vomit and I take her to class with us’’ Aja got up and so did Farrah.

‘’Boo, stealing our friend’’ Complained Pearl. She looked very drunk, she probably drank a lot before smoking with her friends ‘’Farrah, tell them we are cooler than your girlfriend’’

‘’Nobody is cooler than my girlfriend, I’m sorry guys’’

Aquaria got lost in her thoughts. She was seeing the scene with her friends but not comprehending it. She only processed everything when they were walking in the direction of their class. She started to think how it would be if they were her and Brianna.

The weather was sorta cold, and she could feel it was going to rain soon. Aquaria regretted to choose her cropped uniform on that day. She was actually shaking when she felt the cold wind on her exposed legs. They had to run because they were very late. But Aquaria’s high heel boots didn’t help. Well, on that day her bad life choices were actually what she was wearing, and that never used to happen.

Well, for her the campus used to be very pretty at the time of year. Aquaria saw a magnificent beauty on cloudy skies. She didn’t know why, but the tones of grey on the sky made her eyes shine.

They arrived at the building, and the hallways were empty, as the whole campus. If they said something they would hear an annoying echo, and the only sound present was the sound of Aqua’s heels. Farrah drifted to her biology class, while Aja and Aquaria kept walking. They saw the French class and sighed, that would be a rough day.

Immediately when they opened the door, the first-period bell ringed. Aquaria felt relieved, but the worried expression in Aja’s eyes made her get a little worried too. They came into the room, while all the students were leaving, with their heads up. But, on the inside, both were shaking as scared kittens.

Their teacher sent a dead look to them. Only two students lasted, and one of them was Brianna, who got surprised when she saw Aquaria. She couldn’t pay attention to her, she was too scared. Her body was moving on the automatic mode, walking to the teacher's table with Aja.

The teacher hit the table with her hand in a very angry way: ‘’it’s the fourth time you two come late at my class! Next time you two can say hello to the principal’s office’’

‘’I’m sorry Madam Visage’’ both of them grumbled

‘’Also, Brianna, come here a little bit’’

Aquaria freeze when her teacher called Brianna’s name. Also, when the blonde walked in their direction and stopped exactly at Aquaria’s side.

‘’Aquaria Needles, you’re being terrible at my class, and it’s clear you need some help. So, Brianna, if you want to help her to study I can give extra credit to both’’

Brianna smiled and nodded, while Aquaria mumbled an ‘’okay’’. But inside, her heart was like a billion of fireworks. She stared at her, realizing her uniform and gasping. The teacher seemed to not care, but Brianna? She looked like she saw a ghost.

Even when they left class and Aja went to meet up with Farrah, Brianna’s gagged eyes on her didn't leave. Aquaria thought that Brianna could think she’s hot. But she could be a boring ass person who hated fashion and wanted to scold her.

‘’A-aquaria’’

‘'Yes, baby?’’ Aquaria raised one eyebrow, and both of them stopped in the hallway.

‘’Don’t call me that’’ Brianna complained and crossed her arms ‘’T-the dressing code. As president of the student council I tell you’re not appropriated’’ she pointed to her outfit.

‘’So, did you liked it?’’

Her cheeks got red, and Aquaria noticed. She had that impact on people, either they liked her back or not. So Brianna only could've thought she was hot, but nothing besides that.

‘’The point is that the rules didn’t like it!’’

Well, she cared about the rules on that way because Brianna was the daughter of Bob, the eagle. Nobody knew her real name, she was the dean of Charles Academy. Most teachers lived outside of the campus, but not Bob, she lived on the dorms circle and used to see everything. That bitch could smell a cigarette by miles of distance, and Brianna Cracker was her daughter.

That was why Brianna was so uptight. She was like a younger version of her mom. But anyways, something about her made Aquaria actually think that was attractive.

Her mom should be a model for her, and she should be so proud of her. Brianna was a bright student, the president of the student council and so damn talented. Even making fun of it, Aquaria admired her a lot.

‘’You did because you can’t stop stare at my body, don’t you?’’

She blushed again, and Aquaria laughed. She walked to get very close to Brianna and whispered on her ear: ‘’you can do more than stare…’’

Brianna gulped. But for Aquaria's sadness, she pulled her away. She put both of her hands on her head looking completely annoyed.

‘’Oh my god… Change it. I don’t wanna see you with that outfit again, I’m not being boring I only do care about a nice school ambient. And if you don’t I’ll have to tell Mrs. Cracker, the dean’’

‘’Stop acting as she’s not your fucking mom!’’

Brianna rolled her eyes: ‘’bye Aquaria’’ she sighed and left.

Aqua got her head up, but inside, she was dying. She couldn’t believe Brianna was so indifferent about her, and she could change the way she talked to her. And after all, she remembered she had to study French, but at least she would see her again.

Damn, she really felt like she was going to cry her heart out. Now Aquaria needed another cigarette for sure, and she knew exactly where to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was working on this for a while, and I'm really glad I'm making it. I don't know how many chapters I'll write, but this fic is planned to be sorta long. I love boarding school au's and I'm really glad that I'm writing it. I used they/them pronouns for Aja, because they use it irl so I thought doing it here too would be nice.
> 
> This fic is kinda inspired by the book Looking for Alaska by John Green, which is my favorite book. Like some characters like Bob, or the scene where they smoke on the bathroom, so if you read this book you probably catches this jfdhkjhdjfk. Also on a visual novel game named Sweet Elite, but I didn't made references about it yet. Charles Academy is like a mix between the school on Looking for Alaska and Sweet Elite (and has a very bad name, I'm sorry). So I jst thought I could explain this here fjkhjjkgdfkjfjk sorry it got sorta long.
> 
> The fic title is like the song by Lorde, because I suck at titles. Also the chapter title is from a song too, Youth by daughter djfdkjhkdfjkg, you can see I'm 100 % BAD at titles!
> 
> Thanks to @ ageofaquria for helping me to edit it, you're amazing bby. Hope you liked it, and I'm excited to write more <3 x


	2. You're loveable, so loveable... But you're just troubled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for Aquaria's french lessons with Brianna. Eventually, the brunette finds a way to make Brianna completely out of her mind, and it takes her to find out some stuff about the troublemaker's life...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning, this is Brianna's pov, idk if I'll do it more from her point of view or Aquaria's, but I thought it would be nice make this one like this so dkjhkfsjhjdkjgdf enjoy <3

Sitting on her favorite place - the school’s fountain -, in the middle of a cherishing Sunday afternoon, should not be a problem for Brianna. Hearing the little birds chirp, studying one of her favorite subjects, with her favorite sweater - since the weather was kinda cold, the skies were grey, the wind was blowing and it looked like rain was coming later that night -, drinking a cup of hot chocolate... But, unfortunately, she was shaking. Aquaria was the reason she was shaking, and nervously looking to her watch every five seconds. 

It was not because she was a bad person, Bri never thought that about her. It was just the way Aquaria made her feel. Mostly, Brianna could feel capable of doing things, to make things in order and try her best. But when Aquaria was around, her brain just got into short circuit. She was just so… Brianna couldn’t explain it, she didn’t hate her, but she was a person who avoided conflict as much as she could, so Aquaria was a problem, a huge one.

A huge one, because of the way she made her sweat, and shake, and incapable of saying one coherent sentence sometimes - and Brianna was state champion of the spelling bee, so yeah, she knew her words very well. Like that day she and her friends played a prank on her. Brianna got mad, she went to talk politely with Aquaria, but Aquaria seemed to have other plans, and since they put frogs on her dorm, she just called her frog face for a month. 

If that wasn’t enough, Aquaria was provocative. She was always mocking Brianna, calling her  _ ‘’baby’’ _ and names like that. It was clearly just to make Brianna mad, what Aquaria most wanted was to see her crack. But she couldn’t, all her life she felt like she needed to be a model, the perfect student, the perfect daughter, the perfect person… She could handle it well until somebody with black hair and dangerous blue eyes arrived and made her shake in her boots. 

But when she met her, she didn’t think she would cause so much trouble. She was guiding her on a tour on the academy one year ago. It was her duty, since she was running for president at that time, and she had to do things like that often. Aquaria, who arrived there, was kinda dorky and smiley, she was so excited about being accepted in the academy. Brianna didn’t even know her, but somehow she was proud of the girl who looked like she had achieved her big dream. As she walked with her in the hallways, she found out she got a scholarship, and she honestly felt proud of her. 

She remembered Aquaria asking her to come to her dorm. Brianna wanted to say no, it wasn’t professional, but she couldn’t say no to the puppy dog eyes Aquaria made right in front of her. The dorm was as all initial dorms were: a fluffy carpet, two beds, a brown couch, a tiny television… Regular room stuff. The walls used to be white, but Brianna realized Aquaria’s roommate already painted them in a lilac tone. Her new roommate already had their side of the room decorated, Aquaria’s eyes were shining to all the posters, and cool stuff that Brianna had to admit was good decoration. 

Aquaria threw herself on her bed, sighing. Brianna said it was going to be like her new home, and Aquaria smirked, whispering  _ ‘’home’ _ ’ and playing with her hair. Bri laid at her side, giving her advice. The brunette was really sweet, they both laid down together and stared at the ceiling, a kind of intimacy Brianna rarely had with a human being, because she was a reserved person. Aquaria’s curious blue eyes suddenly looked to hers: ‘’This is so scary’’

‘’What?!’’

‘’I mean, this place… I got in because of luck or some shit’’

‘’Don’t say that, I bet you’re really smart.’’ 

‘’Not as smart as you, and the people here are so… Intimidating, I’m scared, I have no friends.’’

Friends. Brianna only had one friend, she’d never had another one. During her childhood, she wasn’t the sociable child, and that never changed. She hated how that word sounded, but now she liked it. It was genuine, Aquaria made it pure, and kind. 

‘’I don’t have friends either, but it’s a personal choice… I only have Monet, she’s really nice. Well, there’s the posh fancy-ass people who pay a fortune for studying here, the nerds like me, and… The troublemakers, stay away from them, they’re my worst nightmare’’

‘’Still seems scary!’’

‘’Isn’t, if you are scared I can… Guide you’’

‘’But you already guided me your silly,’’ She laughed. 

Great, she made Brianna get embarrassed with words. 

‘’Oh sorry, I meant like…’’

‘’Be my friend?’’ Her eyes shone.

‘’Hmmm, yes’’

‘’Do you promise?’’ She pouted, that was the only time she’d ever seen Aquaria pouting. Brianna had to admit, that was cute as heck ‘’We barely know each other, so I’ll only take you seriously if you promise me.’’

‘’I promise!’’ She did, sure that she wouldn’t break it. But well, eventually, she did. 

Both of them felt happy with that, she remembered leaving after a few minutes, that was the only time she and Aquaria had gotten close somehow. She remembered that brief moment between them, it seemed friendly, cozy, and nice. It was such a shame that after that, she didn’t see Aquaria for weeks - she was too busy. She blamed herself a lot, because if she mentored Aquaria and kept her promise, she would never have talked to Aja, or met their friends, or joined their group.  She felt like she had disappointed her, she felt incredibly guilty, and she knew Aquaria probably was upset because she avoided her for months. Until she talked to her again, but it was to say Brianna looked like a grandma in her clothes, probably drunk.

The fact was that she regretted to let her go. Somehow, she couldn’t explain that, she just wished they were friends, because their first run-in looked so meaningful. Brianna just wanted connections with people, because she never had many. The only people she connected with were her mom, and her roommate and best friend, Monet. For one moment that day she didn’t care if she was being inappropriate, she was just really lonely since Monet and she didn’t get to hang out a lot because of her duties. She just wanted somebody in her life. 

But the person she was waiting for now - who was fashionably late -, wasn’t that Aquaria. Brianna looked mad at her watch, when a tall and modelesque figure appeared in front of her. Again, she was not appropriate, why was Brianna surprised? She had to admit she stares at Aquaria’s body more than she liked to, but she never would say it out loud. She looked so gorgeous in her outfit. Her shirt wasn’t cropped, but it was very tight and Brianna could see she wasn’t wearing a bra, her skirt was short as usual. She was wearing a tie, her black high heels, and knee socks, Brianna could feel her mouth getting dry. 

_ ‘’Control yourself your useless lesbian, this is still Aquaria Needles, she’s still… that way.’’  _

‘’You like what you see?’’ She smiled, flipping her bright black hair over her shoulder.

‘’Again, Ms. Needles, not appropriate.’’

‘’I’m inappropriately hot, and you know that,’’ She did a tongue pop, taking a seat on Brianna’s side. Brianna noticed she was shaking, maybe it was the cold wind, or the lack of clothing, maybe both. Brianna would give her jacket to her, but that would look like a romantic gesture, the last thing Brianna wanted.

‘’I think we all want to look… Attractive… Sometimes. But here in the academy, it’s just inappropriate.’’ 

One more time in her life, Brianna thanked the skies for being good with words. 

‘’You’re so uptight, it’s kinda hot… Are you going to teach me how to be… Appropriate?’’

Brianna’s face got red, she had no words. Aquaria had no shame in flirt with her in that way, she had no shame to literally say nasty things to her, what a bold girl. Brianna gulped, what made her mouth dry again. No, she needed to focus, she was being just another dumb teenager if she gave that Aquaria. What was she even thinking? The whole thought was a joke.

‘’No, I’m gonna teach you french… Since that’s literally what we are meeting up for, can you stop?’’

Did she hear Aquaria gulp?  _ The _ Aquaria Needles? Nervous? It was a hallucination or something.

They opened their books, Aquaria settled down. It was peaceful. Brianna brought a dictionary, and all her notes - she used to take many, even about useless stuff. She didn’t look too excited about learning, but Brianna kept doing her duty, she wished it was always like this, so she shouldn’t have to confront herself. She looked at Aquaria, she wasn’t bragging about anything, to be honest, she was just really pretty.

It was a moment of peace, except for Aquaria humming, but Brianna didn’t mind. Brianna kept explaining her basic French stuff - that she insisted on not learning. Aquaria was lucky, Brianna was great at teaching, so she had all the patience with her. But, for ending the peace, she grabbed her phone, and Brianna’s expression was the most confused possible.  

‘’Okay, so with the help of our Lord and Savior, the internet, world wide web, I can form a sentence!’’

Of course she could. But Brianna really wanted to see that, so she nodded: ‘’Go ahead.”

_ ‘’Tes mains sont vraiment jolies’’  _

She made Brianna gasp, and blush again. She didn’t know what Aquaria meant with that, but saying her hands were really pretty was a weird thing. She kept looking at Aquaria, confused. 

_ ‘’... Mais ils seraient plus beaux sur tout mon corps’’  _

Her pronunciation was good, even if she said Brianna should put her hands all over her body, and she was saying that in a sexy tone, all in purpose. Brianna felt like she was choking on her own saliva. Aquaria was smiling diabolically looking at Brianna’s confusion, she’d clearly planned that. Brianna felt the cold in her body change to extremely hot in a matter of seconds after that. 

‘’A-aquaria?’’

Aquaria ignored her protests, she kept typing on her phone, looking at Brianna with a smile on her face. Bri couldn’t do anything, what was she waiting for scolding her for that kind of behavior? Why was she speechless? 

_ “Je vois que tu aimes ça,” _ Fuck, she was going in Brianna’s direction now _ ‘’Je veux te faire supplier de me baiser.’’ _ She whispered in her ear. 

Did she just said she would like to make Brianna beg to… Fuck her? Brianna traveled in her own brain to see if she really meant that, and fuck, she did. 

_ ‘’Eh bien, j'aimerais que tu puisses me baiser,’’  _ She was so close to Brianna that she was almost sitting on her lap, saying she wished she could fuck her, her mouth so close to her’s… Brianna scolded herself now, because she was getting turned on, turned on by another student, Aquaria Needles the troublemaker. At the academy, that kind of behavior was shameful for her. Brianna would never do that, she was the model student, model students never would do such a nasty thing.

‘’A-Aquaria… Stop it, what the heck are you thinking?’’

_ ‘’En français, Bri’’  _

_ ‘’Arrêter maintenant!’’  _ Brianna raised up her voice, blushing with anger. 

‘’Okay, I really don’t understand French without google translate.’’

‘’I told you to stop, god!’’

‘’Mmmm, no,’’ She typed in her phone again. “ _ Tu es tellement sexy quand tu es en colère.” _

‘’What? You think I’m… sexy, when I’m angry? I’m like your teacher Aquaria, are you insane?’’

‘’No, you’re another student, just like me, a normal, boring high school student. But you go to a fancy Academy because you’re a smartass, we’re the fucking same.’’

It hit Brianna like a train. She was another student, another normal teenager, just one more human in the earth. She hated it, all her life, she knew she needed to be better, to be different, to make something good. That was her life plan, but somehow when that words came from Aquaria’s mouth, she felt like she could be… Normal. Sometimes she wished to be just young and dumb, but she had a leader's heart, she was going to change the world, nothing could ever stop her. 

‘’Well, but now I have to make you learn French, and and I’m not interested in you-’’ 

‘’Who said I want you?’’ Aquaria raised up her voice. ‘’I’m just playing with you, Brianna Cracker! I can have anybody I want on this motherfucking academy, do you really think I would want somebody like you?’’

Wasn’t she supposed to be relieved? Well, Brianna had been rejected by a solid amount of girls all her life, she was used to it. She was fine, she didn’t want Aquaria, she would never. The president of the student council had no time for dating, especially not for dating a troublemaker. Aquaria really made her on her nervous, that was just another prank. She just wished she could understand why the brunette mocked her all the time, pranked her all the time, hated her all the time. 

‘’Well, I’m happy we think the same, I would never want something with somebody like you, you’re the kind of person I want distance from.’’ Brianna grumbled, leaving her always polite position to an angry one. ‘’God, you’re always annoying me, leave me alone! I don’t say that I hate anybody, but I surely feel something similar about you.’’

The way she was behaving was really a problem. She was being cold, rude, harsh, and she hated everything about it. She knew it wasn’t true, because deep inside she remembered that Aquaria was a nice person, the nice person one day she thought she would have a connection with. She felt like she needed to protect Aquaria, but now she was gone, it was all her fault, because she left her, she broke her promise. It was one year ago, but she still felt the pain, the girl next to her was a consequence of her actions, the guilt was consuming her. 

She heard Aquaria sigh, and her expression looked affected. But all she did was grab her French book in silence, Brianna did the same, until the thoughts won and made her almost cry in front of Aquaria. She felt the intense urge to cry, or to punch a wall, but not in front of the black haired girl, she would rather die.

‘’I-I just remember I have something very important to do. But I can go to you dorm this evening, so we can finish it, I promise.’’

‘’Um, actually I-’’

‘’Great, bye!’’ she ran, fast as she could. Now the tears started running down her face. Everything was chaos. 

 

[...]

Since she was very smart, Brianna could’ve done anything to avoid the previous situation: from studying to listening to some music. But, she took a nap instead. She just threw herself on her tidy bed, a total savage behavior to her own natural, she would never do that, but all she wanted was to run away from the thoughts on her mind. It was as if she was a bomb of angst and confusion, and when she finally fell asleep, she was at peace - all that crying really helped her out. 

Now, she has woken up in a dark room - it was already late. Her blonde curls were messy, her eyes were puffy, and she had drool all over her face. That kind of behavior was unacceptable, as soon as she saw her own face in the mirror, she freaked out internally, it was like she was scolding herself. And she got even more angry with herself when she realized she hadn’t gone to Aquaria’s dorm.

The curfew was close, if it didn’t already passed. Brianna’s mind was a mess, quickly, she made herself look decent. She was running, she wouldn’t break another promise, not  that day. Besides, if she finished the work with Aquaria, she would never have to feel like that again, and go back to avoid her as she did all her life.

Brianna was breaking so many of her own rules right now, she couldn’t even process it.  _ ‘’Calm down, it’s just a bad day, tomorrow everything will be in perfect harmony.’’  _ She thought while tying her messy hair in a ponytail. She looked good, she even put some makeup on her face to hide that she cried, just the regular Brianna doing extra stuff, as a normal day should be. 

Besides, she was emotionally better now. A nap could cure several unsolved feelings, it was Brianna’s favorite thing to do when she wasn’t in her automatic mode: when she could be herself. She actually could see who she was when she was under the pressure, and who she was when she was alone, in her room, throwing herself in her bed, napping… She wished she could get used to this side of her, which was so raw, fresh, and new.

She looked for her phone, luckily her room was extremely tidy too, so she could find it in the blink of an eye. She looked at her phone, scared, how long had she slept? It was past the curfew already, how had she slept so much? She knew Aquaria would not be sleeping, the problem was that she would never break a rule. Never ever. She should go back to sleep, but she had no sleep at all, even if her brain was yelling “ _ go there’’ _ , She refused to.

‘’Girl, what are you doing, I thought you were sleeping,’’ A sleepy Monet grumbled, Brianna hadn’t noticed her there.

‘’I know, I just slept too much, I needed to do something’’

‘’Oh, I think it’s nine pm already, damn… Look, how important is this thing?’’

_ “Is not… Okay it’s a little bit, I don’t know. I promised her, I fucking promised, oh shit, I’m swearing.”, “Oh no swearing again, stop!’’  _  She thought ‘’I guess it is..’’ she finally admitted.

‘’Look, we’re friends, you don’t need to be like this all the time… One little infraction will not kill you Bri, you’re doing it for a good reason, right?’’

Monet was not the kind of girl like Brianna or Aquaria either. She was a normal student, she’d gone to some secret parties in the past - Brianna heard a lot about them, and wished she could just stop it -, but in general, she was nice, organized, a good roommate, and a good friend. Besides, Brianna felt like she could be herself next to her, since Monet wasn’t like the people of the student council, or like her mother, or like her teachers. 

But Brianna Cracker, the president of the student council, would not do a little infraction. But, breaking a promise was equally bad to her, she felt horrible because it was the same thing that happened last time. She was putting the school, and the rules over her personal life, that was the reason she couldn’t make her first promise to Aquaria, that was the reason everything was ruined in her life. 

‘’C’mon, quickly, at least just tell whoever this person is that you couldn’t make it today, and try to reschedule, they will understand, what is it?’’

‘’I have to teach French to some girl, I promised her,’’ She looked at the ground.

‘’That’s a valid reason, go, I got your back, girl.’’

Yes, she could just go warn her and leave, sounded perfect. Brianna was so out of her mind that day, because it was exactly what she did. As her roommate said, she would have her back: Monet would make up some excuse, and Brianna would be fine. She trusted her friend, so she had no regrets when she closed the door behind her. 

It was kinda scary, Brianna never walked in that hallways past her curfew, it was like a horror movie. Everything was dark, and she was kinda worried about the security, if somebody saw her… She didn’t believe she was doing that. She breathed in, and breathed out, walking through the hallways, hoping that she could find Aquaria’s dorm soon. It was easy, since she remembered almost all students dorms. 

When she was some hallways close to it, a security stopped her. She got paralyzed, she couldn’t move a muscle, her whole body was sweating… She felt like she couldn’t breathe, and her life was over, she knew that wouldn’t work, she knew it.

‘’Miss… Cracker? Were you… Invited?’’ She looked confused. She knew that security, Kimberly was one of the toughest securities, she was lost.

But invited for what?

‘’Yeah, I was,’’ she lied, not knowing what she was doing, but trying to figure it out.

‘’Come with me. I’m surprised they invited you, because you’re like, the president of student counseling… I would never imagine.’’ Suddenly Kimberly looked completely cool, and friendly, why? ‘’But why would you be out in the time of your curfew, right?’’

‘’B-because they invited me, I wanted to show up,’’ She risked.

‘’Not a snitch huh? I can’t lose my job, so please I hope you’re not, because I really need this. And damn, don’t blame those kids, they just wanna have fun. I would do the same if I were them.’’

Brianna was still very confused, looking in Kimberly’s eyes with doubt and fear as they walked. She arrived in the hallway of Aquaria’s dorm, and it was a mess. A bunch of doors were open, and apparently, some dorms got turned into party rooms, it was… A party, a secret party.

_ ‘’How…. Who… What?’’  _

The music was blasting from the speakers, and as that hallway was really far from all the others, it was perfect because nobody would hear it. She could see the fluorescent lights, feel the alcohol smell, besides that a lot of students were making out in front of the dorms, Brianna couldn’t blink an eye. It was a whole new world, just in front of her eyes - a new world she couldn’t even be seeing. The worst of all was that she couldn’t tell anyone she saw that, she literally could not stop what she was trying to stop a lot of times. She felt like she needed to punch a wall

_ ‘’Girl, leave your morality issues for later. The promise. Aquaria, find her!’’  _

Amazed, she still could not move. She started looking for Aquaria, entering the first room. It was a mistake that almost all the troublemakers got in closer rooms, Brianna would surely suggest a room change for all of them later. They had loud music blasting from the speakers, it was really melting Brianna’s brain. The weird thing was that she had listened to that pop song before, and it was shameful of her that she started to move her feet in the rhythm of the music. 

Cigarette smells, weed smells, weird smells Brianna couldn’t even distinguish, that she never smelt in her life. That was a den of everything wrong, Brianna surely would take care that Kimberly was fired, and that a party like that never happened. After all, she was looking out for Aquaria in her way, making the academy a safe place where she would get out of this world she lived in - she was making her promise. At least, it was what she thought, but again, she had no time for her morality issues now.

Being in a party was so weird for Brianna, because she had never gone to one. The blonde was starting to get dizzy - she didn’t even have to drink anything -, and all those lights were blinding her, the music was getting into her brain with a drill of dance beats, and melodic voices. It clearly wasn’t her place, she felt like an outsider, she felt like she was vulnerable there - and one thing the blonde who swore she would become president at age eight - never felt was vulnerability; or she didn’t want to feel it.

Mainly, Brianna clearly was not in the same outfit as everyone in the room. Some of them showed too much skin, some of them looked classy - probably the rich kids -, some of them looked edgy with their ripped jeans and fishnets. They all had something in common, their outfits looked appropriate for a club. But Brianna? Brianna was in her academy uniform, perfectly dressed, and very appropriate for walking in the hallways every day, but for the first time… Brianna didn’t dress appropriately for something.

Of course she wouldn’t last long there without receiving strange looks, people were gossipping, with the worried looks in their eyes. When Brianna got in the second room, the thing was the same. Everyone knew it at that point, people looked at her in a weird way, they were angry at her, Brianna couldn’t blame them. But, no one had the guts to confront her, so they just left the sad and worried girl to do her thing. 

People were dancing, people were having fun. Maybe, it couldn’t be as bad as outside the school. But they were minors, that was illegal, and that was against all the existent rules. Brianna promised herself, she would end the secret parties, because she never cared about anyone’s happiness: not even her own.

Another song started playing when she arrived in the last room, Brianna had to admit it was involving and…  _ Sexy _ . It was smooth, and the singer sang it like it was velvet on her tongue. In some minutes, she figured out it was  _ Lana Del Rey.  _ She listened to the song before, she actually secretly liked it, because that was one of her secret favorite artists - everybody was convinced that Brianna only admired the classic musicians.    
  
‘’ _ Harvey's in the sky with diamonds _

_ And it's making me crazy _

_ All he wants to do is party with his pretty baby’’ _

Brianna started vibing as the music playing, as she was there and in the last room already, she had time for some dancing - it was not like she would ever do that again, it was not like that kind of party would ever happen again. Her body was moving, and when it was about dancing, Brianna cracker had zero skills. But, she made her way, and really felt the music, everybody saw this when she untied her blonde curls.

_ ‘’Come on baby, let's ride _

_ We can escape to the great sunshine _

_ I know your wife and she wouldn't mind _

_ We made it out to the other side _

_ We made it out to the other side _

_ We made it out to the other side _

_ Come on come on come on come on come on baby _

_ Whoa ah yeah’’ _

Through the lights, she saw a majestic figure. She took all the air that remained in Brianna’s lungs, and damn, it was worthful. After so much time looking for Aquaria, Brianna found her in the most unexpected way: dancing. She was like a goddess, and Brianna was pretty out of her mind, so she kept watching her dance. Her body, the way it moved as the song was playing. Her moves were so smooth, so teasing, as she knew Brianna was there. Her sparkly silver cocktail dress, and her flawless dolled-up makeup were so pretty, even in the party lights, she looked like untouched art. 

_ ‘’Drug, suck it up, like Vanilla Ice is _

_ Don't treat me rough, treat me really nice-is _

_ Decorate my neck, me, I'm on decisis _

_ Why, come on come on come on _

_ Ooo ooo ooo ooh _

_ Ooo ooo ooo ooh _

_ Ooo ooo ooo ooh _

_ Yeow!’’ _

Her hair was flipping while she danced, in the most intense part of the song, she turned back, and her ice blue eyes stared at Brianna. Aquaria did nothing, but kept dancing, now, knowing Brianna was there - she was the same as before, but she had the same worried expression in her eyes as the other people at the party. 

_ ‘’Come on come on come on baby _

_ Come on come on come on baby’’ _

It finally ended, and some dance song Brianna didn’t knew started playing. Aquaria walked in Brianna’s direction all clumsy, dizzy, and laughing. Then the blonde realized she was drunk, she didn’t know how much, but she knew it seemed to be a lot.. Aquaria just wrapped her arms around Brianna and gave her a hug, it was pretty awkward.  Brianna assumed she was really drunk. She could feel Aquaria’s lips on her neck, and breathed heavily, pulling her. 

‘’Listen, don’t,’’ She advertised.

‘’Shut up, you’re so hot, Bri, I want you… You have no idea of how much… When you’re in your meetings, or when you scold me… It’s so… damn.’’ and then she started laughing again. Aquaria was the kind of oversharing clingy drunk, Brianna realized that.

‘’Listen, I came here to tell you I couldn’t make up my promise because I fell asleep, I’m sorry, can we study french tomorrow? I’ll make it up to you.’’ Brianna used her best words, pretty confident. 

‘’I don’t wanna study Briiii,’’ She yelled, saying Brianna’s name in that high and extended way ‘’Here’s what I want.’’

Aquaria tried to kiss her, but Brianna turned her away. Now, she was holding on to her shoulders, looking straight to Aquaria’s eyes: ‘’Aquaria… How much did you drink?’’

She was worried, it was her fault Aquaria was drunk like that because of that stupid promise. In all the movies Brianna watched, drunk people normally were awkward, but Aquaria looked bad. Now, she was singing the lyrics of  _ Cola  _ over and over again, out loud, clearly annoying everyone at the party. 

_ ‘’Briiii,’’  _

‘’What? Are you going to talk to me?’’

‘’Kiss me, c’mon, your lips seem so sof-’’ She almost fell in the ground, but Brianna held her. She was laughing, trying to get up, what a messy drunk. 

‘’Where are your friends, Aquaria?’’

‘’Farrah and Aja are fucking, for sure,’’ She laughed, she couldn’t stop laughing. ‘’The rest probably is dead in… Ughhhh’’

‘’What’s wrong?’’

‘’Dead in a ditch-’’

Yes, she threw up. She puked all over Brianna’s shoes. The smell was nasty, it looked even worse, everybody was looking at them with a disgusted look. Brianna looked at her with her eyes wide open, and Aquaria burped, almost falling again. Brianna would take the vomit of her shoes later, now she needed to take Aquaria somewhere safe, she wouldn’t leave her there alone: who knows what would happen to her.

She grabbed Aquaria’s hands, and guided her to leave the party hallway. Kimberly looked at them with an expression of doubt. Aquaria smiled at her, waving, they clearly knew each other. 

‘’She’s gonna fuck me Kimbs, your girl is gonna get RAWED!’’ She babbled.

Kimberly just laughed, looking at Brianna’s face, which had panic written all over it. And Aquaria? Aquaria fell on the ground. Brianna picked her up quickly, bridal style: ‘’Don’t listen to her, she needs help, she’s drunk.’’

‘’And so are you, Brianna,’’ She laughed, as they were both children doing some nasty stuff ‘’Have fun.’’

Did she look drunk? Brianna took it as an offense, now she would make double sure Kimberly got fired. 

Aquaria couldn’t stop moving in Brianna’s arms, she wasn’t really heavy, even though she was very tall, she was pettitte. Aquaria kept trying to kiss her the whole way to Brianna’s room, and all the blonde did was avoid it, and try to see if the securities were there, she needed to make it to her room. Aquaria needed recovery, she would take care of her, because it was all her fault.

_ ‘’Briiiiiiii,’’  _ She yelled loudly, as they were in front of Brianna’s dorm.

_ ‘’Shhhh,’’  _ Brianna grumbled. ‘’What now?’’

‘’No, just making you see how pretty I would look when I yell your name… You still have the chance to make me, I would look  _ hot  _ moaning your name.’’ 

‘’Aquaria, sweetheart, you’re yelling, that’s not hot.’’

‘’Did you just called me sweetheart, Bri?’’

Brianna blushed: ‘’I-I call everyone sweetheart.’’

‘’Mmmm,”

No more chatting, she opened the door. Monet looked at her, scared, and then looked at the drunk girl in her arms, sighing heavily. 

‘’Bri… what? Why is she here? What happened? Are you both okay?’

‘’We are going to have mad sex here honey, you’re just bothering  _ moi _ and  _ ma dame.’’ _

Brianna placed her on her bed, knowing it would have a terrible alcohol stench, but she didn’t care at all. Aquaria tried to find comfort there, because she snuggled in the pillow, almost sleeping. She was weird drunk.

‘’I found her in a fucking secret party. A secret party! I believe she drank a lot, because she’s not really normal… Her state is terrible Monet!’’

‘’Oh fuck, I’m so sorry. That’s why I got out of this world. She will have to spend the night… A cold shower will help her, and water, a lot of water.’’ 

Monet used to go to a lot of parties. She was like Aquaria and her friends, used to drink a lot, and clearly knew what to do in that situations. Brianna was always so proud of her best friend, because she fought her own demons, and got in one of the best schools in the country, all because of her own worth. She was a magnificent person, and Brianna was a proud friend. 

Aquaria couldn’t stop moving on Brianna’s bed. She looked like a child, a drunk child. Brianna made up a mental note to never have children, because they would be like that: become teenagers, drink, and be annoying like that again. They tried to not do so much noise, but Aquaria? She couldn’t keep quiet. Aquaria had that drunk blush on her cheeks, and she looked like an unstable piece of art. Brianna just wanted her to get better, she just wanted things to get better.

The duty to take Aquaria to the shower was Brianna’s, and she wasn’t happy with that. Luckily, the brunette was less chaotic, even if she pushed Brianna in the shower with her, and Brianna’s jacket got all soaked.

‘’C’mon baby, cool down a bit,’’ 

‘’No! Enough! Take your shower… Please, take your shower.’’ Brianna was almost crying, seeing Aquaria in that state was like a stab in her heart.

_ ‘’It’s all my fault, it’s all my fault.’’  _ She kept thinking.

Brianna gave her clean pajamas, and they placed her on her own bed. After all her makeup was removed, Aquaria could finally rest, Monet got a glass of water from their tiny fridge and gave it to Aquaria. She grumbled something about wanting that to be vodka, but drank the whole glass. And finally, she was asleep like an angel.

Sleeping in the floor was not a problem to Brianna in that moment, and there - when Brianna Cracker, the president of Charles Academy’s student council was laying down in the floor, staring at the ceiling and processing her day -  she decided she would take care of Aquaria, even if they always fighted and made her feel sad, because she would never let stuff like this happen to her, or with any student again.

_ ‘’I’ll make it up… I’ll fight for you, I promise, I’m sorry for everything.’’   _ She whispered, and Monet grumbled something to make Brianna shut up.

For a second, she saw Aquaria’s blue irises staring at her in the dark, and it must be some hallucination of hers because of the weed smell in the party, because she couldn’t stop staring at them, until she fell into a deep sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so first things first I'm SORRY for taking SO FUCKING LONG to write this, I had some trouble w my creativity, and school was killing me (bless summer break)... Besides, I was working on 2 different things and now I finally got time for writing this, I promise the next one will not take that long jdfhgfkgjkgjfg.  
> Thanks to the lovely amazing showstopping @ TropicalDepressionKatya (sunny on aq) for editing this!!!! You're an amazing beta and friend, and deserves the world tbh!!!  
> Brianna is a Lana Del Rey fan, indeed, it's her guilty pleasure fehdjkshgkdfjgdkfj.  
> I'm excited to know what you guys thought about it because I was very risky on this chapter eek, anyways, my tumblr is @ aquariasbaby now, if you wanna know <3\. Thanks for reading x


	3. If there is a heaven then this must be hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sadly, Aquaria has bigger problems to deal than hangover.

Experience on kissing was something Aquaria was sure she had. She kissed a lot of girls over the years, in all the ways possible. But, that kiss? Was one of the best kisses of her life, if it wasn’t the best. It tasted like wine - Strawberry Hills for sure -, and lust. Brianna’s touch was heavenly, as the sounds she made her do while they kissed. Even if it was a drunk kiss, it seemed right for Aquaria.

She didn’t know how they got there, all she could feel was the moment. All she could feel was Brianna’s soft lips on her, wanting more and more. Kissing her rough in a way she would never have premeditated. In Aquaria's head, Brianna wasn't the rough type. She imagined making out with her to be soft and tender. But, that drunk version of her was bringing up a side Aqua never knew.

Well, Brianna wasn’t playing when Aquaria felt her teeth biting her bottom lip. Everything was so intense, as she was the ocean and Aquaria drowned on her, drowned on the passion of that kiss. Between moans and whines, Brianna smiled sadistically.

Not even Aquaria knew she would be so submissive - she was usually a power bottom, even on making out. Brianna lied her down on her bed with the gentle touch of a feather and started to kiss her neck. Every kiss was heavy breathing coming from Aquaria, every bite, every teasing... It was Aquaria’s end when she decided to gift her with hickeys.

‘’Bri…’’ She whined again ‘’please…’’

‘’Shhh... I know angel, be patient’’

Even her tone was different, Aquaria couldn’t help herself when she was so desperate. She knew Bri would be bossy every time she used to tell her off, but she didn’t know she would be that dominant. That made her want her even more. Aquaria was on her lap now, Brianna’s hands under her short dark blue skirt.

Brianna could make her whine and grind against her easy. She had all the power kissing her harder and harder. Sipping her tongue on her throat with a burning desire, she kissed her even harder now.

‘’I-I think we are going too far…’’ Aquaria finally said after a lot of tries of saying a coherent sentence.

‘’Look who’s worried about the rules now, you never seem to care about the princess. You're such a bad girl, I need to teach you a lesson so you can be my good girl''

Did she call Aquaria Needles princess? And told her she would... Teach her a lesson? Yes, she did, and Aquaria squeezed her thighs together with every single letter of her words.

‘’You like it so much, don’t you?’’ Brianna provoked rubbing her fingers on Aquaria’s pale thighs ‘’...so much that you can’t wake up’’

It was like she was with her head above the water. At the moment she opened her eyes and realized it was a dream. She lost all the air in her lungs and had to return to the surface. Facing the wall as she drowned - drowned in her own lusty dirty thoughts - until she realized she wasn’t in her dorm. She let out a gasp when she saw Brianna sleeping peacefully in the floor.

A part of her wanted to think the fact Bri was sleeping on the floor because of her was adorable. Another part of her wanted to punch herself because of it - and because of her dream. The last sane part of Aquaria wanted to know how did she end up there?

The last thing she remembered was to have what would be her final drink - after a lot of very alcoholic drinks. She had some flashes of waking up in the middle of the night, in the dark and see a sleepy Brianna in the floor. But she thought that was a dream, and that the dream she had with her was true.

It wasn’t like she could wait for Brianna for wake up, and talk to her. She needed to leave, quick. In her dreams they would be waking up together, she would call Brianna to bed and they would cuddle. Aquaria Needles wanted to cuddle, that was the effect she had on her. But it was like Aquaria’s casual fucks: she had to leave the soon as she could in every morning. Except she was sure that they didn’t anything wild.

Brianna’s side of the room was exactly her. Tons of wall shelves filled with books, from study books to… Wait, was that Harry Potter? Of course, Cracker would be the kind of girl who read Harry Potter. And biographies, lots of them. Aquaria heard somewhere that Brianna had an obsession with last words.

Bri as a child should be so cute. On socks and cute print pajamas, tiny glasses on her angelic face. Reading biographies while her messy blonde hair fell all over her face. Something about that made Aquaria almost let out an ''aww''. She started to think of herself as a child. Then, she decided tiny Aquaria and tiny Bri would never be friends anyways.

Because Aquaria wasn’t the social person she was nowadays. She used to stay home all day watching cartoons and eating cookies made by Alaska. While Sharon was in the bar drinking their money. Her moms were far from perfect when she was growing up. They were always splitting and going back together, fighting and yelling really loud. But never ever letting Aquaria know - but she found out anyway.

After a long time, they regret everything and fixed all the scars they left in each other, and in their daughter. So Aquaria’s completely dysfunctional family could be happy one time in their life. But, Aquaria did had to fuck up becoming a troublemaker. Her childhood wasn’t like Brianna’s - happy, with a loving mother supporting her to become a success. She only had a happy life after bad times passed. That didn’t last when her parents got monthly warns of the academy that she was very close to get expelled.

They never would have been friends, not with the perfect girl with a tender mom who buys her biographies. Aquaria always isolated herself from other children. Even if Brianna - the always sweet and sociable Brianna - decided to talk to her, she would cut her off.

Even sleeping, Brianna seemed tired. Aquaria felt like a hundred knives were stabbing her chest for remembering things. A loud and drunk version of her hitting on Bri. Aquaria’s face was burning with shame, she couldn’t believe. But, there was more to care about…

Damn Brianna Cracker was at her party, her secret party. Now she started to think it was all her fault. If she didn’t flirt with Brianna, she wouldn’t have to look for Aquaria in her dorm that turned into a salvage party. She didn’t think she would show up, Brianna didn’t give a fuck about her since ever. And to make everything worse Aquaria made her stay.

Now she was walking in pajamas in the school hallways - so fast that you could call that running. It was around five am, and Aquaria’s body was cursing her during the whole path. The sun was rising so Aquaria could see the sky turning from dark to a pastel blue sky full of shades of orange and pink. She thought to stop to watch that - but she gave up when she remembered she had to save her friends lives - the sun could wait.

The birds were chirping so loud, it made Aquaria curse in agony again. She was so tired that she didn’t even realize a worried Aja in the door of their dorm. Luckily, the staff never cared a lot about the students at that time - why would somebody be up at five am? activities only started at seven am, which meant she could have more two hours of heavenly sleep. Her friends would be so mad at her, they would be planning how to make her life hell.

Well, she was wrong because Aja ran into her almost suffocating her with their tight hug. Based on how tired she was, Aquaria only could let out a groan because her whole body hurt in awful pain. But a hug was nice in that time, she sighed and hugged them back. Sometimes, she thought Aja was the only one she could count on.

‘’Sis, you almost killed me of preoccupation, you were so drunk last night, we lost you…’’

‘’Hey I’m fine now, not dead, only inside’’ Aquaria winked

‘’Bitch, never do it again. We can’t live without our baby! We have to cut off your drinks’’ they placed a lock of her messy black hair under her ear

A moment of silence. Aja knew what was happening. The president of the student council was at their secret party, how wouldn’t they know?

‘’I’m so sorry Aja… It’s all my fault I-’’

‘’No.’’ they stamped their feet ‘’how would that be your fault Aqua? You were drunk’’

‘’Yes, but if I hadn’t flirted with her in our French lesson she wouldn’t have to look for me... I thought she wouldn’t even show up’’

‘’Did you invite her?’’

‘’Well she invited herself, I tried to say I had something… So, no but-’’

‘’Then, isn’t your fault Aqua! You have to stop being sorry for everything, and it’s very understandable. I have to advert that everyone is kinda mad at you... She’s your crush and they think she’s your responsibility’’ they pondered ''I'll defend you if you need, I do believe in love. They hated Farrah when we started seeing each other too''

Without thinking twice, she hugged them. They got surprised, but hugged her back and sighed petting her hair.

‘’You’re like a younger sister to me, take more care of yourself okay? Drink, but don’t drink like that’’

‘’But how are you? Express your anger’’

Aja cursed and kicked a trash can, making some noise - but nothing that could wake up somebody. She could see they expressed their anger for real. 

‘’I can’t get expelled Aqua… Can’t let my mom down, I wish we could, you know, hurt Brianna. Physically, I'm sorry, but I'm very angry at her'’

Aquaria’s chest hurt with the thought of Brianna getting hurt. It hurt even more with the thought of Aja getting expelled.

‘’...But you know I won’t’’

‘’I care about you too Aja, if you’re expelled I’ll never forgive myself’’

‘’Sis, isn’t your damn fault if you blame yourself one more time… I worry about my mom you know?’’

Aja’s mom was a very sweet person by what Aqua knew. She liked poetry, and flowers - smelled like flowers also. She treated Aja like the most special flower in the world. They always talked about her. About how their alcoholic dad used to be toxic to them both, and how she built a new life in a small trailer with them. 

Years later, when they got a scholarship in one of the best schools in the country, she couldn’t be more proud of her child. She was the only thing they cared about - besides Farrah, of course... hearing that from Aja made Aquaria lose her mind.

She was feeling guilty, her stupid crush messed her best friend’s life. She would never forgive herself even if Aja yelled at her that it wasn't her fault. The only thing sleepy and sad Aqua did was open her arms to them one more time, and let them cry on her chest.

‘’Sorry this was way too emotional…’’ they cried in broken sentences ‘’Fuck! My dad already disappointed my mom, I can’t disappoint her too, I’m a fucking failure. When I came out she was the only person who accepted me... She was the only person who ever cared about me besides you and Farrah. I just... I wanna give her a better life''

‘’Listen, she will always be proud of you. I’m sure she wouldn't care. She loves you’’ now was Aquaria’s time to pet Aja’s mint green hair;

‘’B-but I still would be a failure…’’

‘’You’re not a failure, I promise we will solve it. Should we go to our room now? I can hold your hand while we watch mean girls, like the old times’’

One funny thing about Aja, they were all badass and strong, but their favorite movie was Mean Girls. So when they first meet, they used to watch Mean Girls together all the time when school was too scary. 

‘’You forgot our room turned into a party. Some people are trying to clean it, as usual, they’re almost done I have pity on their souls’’

‘’Don’t forget next time it can be us…’’

‘’If there is a next time’’ Aja sighed, still sad ‘’I was helping them... The worrying about losing my scholarship and my best friend were scaring me the fucking out’’

‘’So where are our people?’’

‘’They’re at the barn, but Farrah is in her dorm, I slept there, she offered me comfort and cuddles’’

‘’Farrah Moan seems like the kind of girl who cuddles’’

‘’She does, and her cuddles are fucking amazing. You need a cuddle, everyone needs a cuddle’’

‘’Aja what did you became?’’

‘’A big softie, we hugged three times this morning, Aquaria. I’m in a fragile state I have the right to’’

The barn was at Charles Academy proprietary, but it got forgotten and never used as a barn properly. The administration seemed to forget it existed, so that worked as a kind of deposit. 

Even Bob the Eagle didn’t look there in her stakeouts, it was the perfect place. Aquaria and her friends used that as a kind of headquarter. It was all blue - different from the other barns, it was blue because CA brand color was a royal blue. 

The smell of fresh paint was still there, but not as strong as the smell of alcohol when she got in. For Aquaria’s surprise, no one was sleeping. She had to handle the hugs and the ‘’I’m glad you’re safe’’ kind of thing. She wasn’t complaining, it was nice to be home.

Home meant they would mock the cute pastel pink pajamas she was wearing - that matched her so well. Home meant the alcohol smell, alcohol that consumed a lot. Home meant her friend's warm hugs, and care. She had her moms, but her friends were like a second family for her.

‘’I hate to be a bitch, but we have to solve our little issue’’ Laila muttered

‘’I know... ‘’ addressed a very sleepy Jinkx. She woke up recently by her voice ‘’fucking student council president was there, we’re fucked! How did that happen anyways?'' 

Aquaria felt herself getting smaller with that comment.

While they discussed how bad the situation was, Aquaria put both of her hands on her head to think. Until she remembered some flashes of last night. Brianna dancing, she remembered of watching her untie her hair, and that was so damn sexy…

‘’Guys, We have a thing against miss perfect’’

‘’Aka her fucking crush y’all’’ Laila groaned. ‘’Aqua, I love you. But why couldn’t you keep fucking trustable people? She wouldn’t be there if you two didn’t have any connection like, why would she go to your dorm’’

‘’You could keep fucking people who like you’’ Raja addressed ‘’sorry, any girl would die to have you. Not Brianna fucking Cracker, why do you like her?’’

‘’I…’’ she tried to explain herself, but Aja put a hand on her shoulder as the protective friend they were:

‘’The nerd can be an asshole, but she’s kinda cute. Aquaria has a questionable taste, but it’s all chill since it doesn’t fuck us all so, get easy on her? Isn’t her fault guys, do you think she could betray us in that way? She has a brain, dammit. She didn’t know they would be there’’

They were sort of lying, but since Aquaria doubted she would be there, that was kinda true. She decided to keep her mouth shut and let Aja lead the situation.

‘’...Probably somebody recorded her dancing at the party?’’

‘’I did!’’

‘’Well Raven, we should tell her we will post it. It shows she was at a secret party...’’ Aquaria addressed ‘’she wouldn’t snitch us if she also got snitched''

‘’Wow, calm down baby Aqua’’ Pearl mocked ‘’she’s a savage. Blackmailing?’’ and Aquaria conclude she got high in that time of the morning. None of them did weed that much, but Pearl? She always did weed. 

‘’I bet my ass that she’s planning how to snitch us all right now! I'm sorry for the folks who are cleaning, they aren’t safe as we are right now’’ Adore got up from the floor.

‘’She’s sleeping…’’

‘’How do you know that? Oh my god Aquaria, did you slept with her? Great, you saw the enemy at the party and what now? Instead of trying to take her to us so we could solve it, you decided to fucking have sex with her?’’

Aquaria’s cheeks immediately turned red with Adore’s question: ‘’I didn’t, okay? I was very drunk but I’m sure I didn’t. I remember that she saw my state, and took me to her dorm, she took care of me. Believe on me, I couldn’t say one coherent sentence’’

‘’She’s not wrong… I talked to her and she started to tell me why I should tap my webcam because FBI is watching us. Then she started to compare that with a bunch of senseless metaphors, Aqua is a clumsy drunk.’’

Katya and her Russian accent saved her ass.

Everyone laughed, and they seemed to get easy on her now. Then, they all got silent, until Aja clapped their hands: ‘’Who’s going to talk to the nerdy barbie?’’

‘’Aquaria! Is that even a question? She seems to have a lot of… Intimacy, with her’’

Not them all were getting easy on her. Adore was still looking at her as she would murder somebody.

‘’I told you, I didn’t sleep with her okay?’’

For one moment Aquaria felt sad that wasn’t a lie.

‘’...I talk to her anyway, it’s my responsibility, and I care too much about you guys’’

‘’We love you’’ Pearl got up to hug her, she had alcohol breath too ‘’don’t we?’’

‘’We do, I’m sorry for being a bitch with you’’

‘’Me too’’ Laila held her girlfriend’s hand

They sneakily went back to their dorms. They were clean now, thanks to the assigned cleaners. They were like assigned drivers but assigned to clean the mess of the parties.

Aja and Aquaria pretended they got up exactly in that time. They showered, smoked their morning cigarette watching people in the bathroom window. Aja always wore a leather jacket as a blazer, their style was very solid. Aquaria this time decided to only wear her tight uniform shirt and her shorted skirt. A black choker was the cherry on top of the cake, she looked heavenly.

‘’I guess blackmailing the nerd will be a little bit more fun for you than I expected…’’

‘’Shut up, I always dress like this’’

‘’Fair enough, the bitch stares at you all the time. You could cut the sexual tension between you two with a knife’’

‘’I wish’’ she bit her lip.

Everything seemed normal, they went to have breakfast and attended class. No one called their attention, that was good. Aquaria was doing fine, then she didn’t saw Brianna in the student council table, she almost passed out. She would be fine, for sure, or snitching them to her own mother right now.

Didn’t saw Brianna on a class either. Her first class was French, her heart was pounding so fast that she was sure the other classroom could hear it too. Maybe Brianna heard that and showed a damn sign of life. She was impatient, she wanted to see her, and not only because she could be fucking her life right now. She needed to see her, at least one more time.

And that time happened when a messy Brianna got into the class, late. Brianna Cracker was late. Brianna president of the student council Cracker. Brianna miss perfect Cracker… She couldn’t believe on it, Aquaria’s chin was on the floor.

Madam Visage looked at her with a worried look, Brianna never used to get late. Not even one single time, not even when she was sick. Brianna mumbled an inaudible ‘’sorry’’ and took her seat. Even their teacher couldn’t continue with the class, everyone was talking about her. If Aquaria got late, it would be only another normal day, but Brianna? That was like a natural disaster.

Sometimes, she used to pay attention to her in class. She was so angelic.. The way she always tied her hair in a bun, or bite her pencil a little bit when she was nervous made her so human to Aquaria. It was a Brianna that could never get seen by anyone, but Aquaria realized her. She had a worried look like the ceiling was going to fall on her head. Aquaria really wanted to hold her hand.

But no, her friends needed her too. She wouldn’t do that to Aja, friends first then lovers and crushes. So when the class ended, Aquaria waited for everyone to leave. She knew Brianna used to always stay to finish taking notes even when the teacher left. She closed the door of the class and walked to Brianna slowly and carefully in her heeled boots. 

‘’Well, well, well’’

For a change, Brianna gulped and got red. Aquaria always loved the effect she had over her.

‘’Aquaria…’’

‘’Listen, I am thankful for whatever you did, and for taking care of me.’’ she sighed ‘’I am thankful, you’re. Sweet, I appreciate that. But when it comes to my friends I need to be rational.’’

‘’W-what do you mean?’’

‘’I mean that you can’t snitch us, you can’t do that’’

‘’I wasn’t going to snitch you… Aquaria, you’re… I…’’ she sighed ‘' You have a bright future in this institution. But your friends in another hand are...''

‘’Well, if they go down, we both are going down with them’’

She played the video of Brianna dancing on her phone, and she had to admit she was sexy. Brianna looked at the video, scared, as she had seen a ghost. She was feeling bad for Brianna, but she couldn’t let Aja and her other friends down.

‘’Aquaria are you blackmailing me?’’

‘’If you tell anyone about the party, I’ll send this to your beloved mom, and to the student council… You don’t want that Bri, do you?’’

And she left Brianna there, along with that to process. She couldn’t feel remorse or regret, but somehow she cried when she arrived at her dorm. Thinking about the monster she became, and how easy would be everyone’s life if she never were alive. Her moms lives, Aja’s life, Brianna’s life, her friend's lives… She wouldn't have to hurt anyone or pick sides. She was a liability.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, here is when I apologize (again) for taking so long for update. I had to write two fics for my gf and one of my most special friends and I had zero inspiration. And this chapter might be a little like a filler chapter, but I swear I tried to make it up at least writing something sorta long.  
> I LOVE ALL THE LOOKING FOR ALASKA REFERENCES SM??? Plz tell me if you read the book and catch them, because they make me really happy (it's my favorite book). I took a lot of stuff from the book, and it's being fun to mold the characters with the LFA characters.   
> I'm pretty bad at making out scenes, and I'm sorry if I fooled you with that start hehehe (they won't kiss any sooner tho, sorrey). I HATE MYSELF FOR DOING THIS DKSJHKJGFHFKGJKDGH.  
> My writing tumblr is @ uranustrash now (promo as always bc well, choices). Feel free to follow or send hcs, or opinions, everything!! And you can check the other stuff I write too, if you want <3 xoxo


	4. doughnuts and deception

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brianna goes to a student council meeting - good thing she brought doughnuts with her.

Worried. That was what Brianna was at that moment. Dazzled, confused, worried, very worried. Finding out about the secret parties should be the biggest achievement of her seventeen year old life, but she couldn’t do anything about it. Aquaria Needles - in all her glory, and hypnotic red plump lips - blackmailed her, and then not even Aquaria’s deadly beauty could make Brianna less worried, less pissed off at her. She helped her for God’s sake, and that was how she thanked her? But she would still keep her promise to look out for Aquaria; she remembered clearly the moment she made it, and how she wouldn’t break that one.

Being late was already a burden to her, Brianna Cracker could never be late to class. She knew her mom wouldn’t be very happy, and Brianna would blame herself for a lifetime. All that confusion made the blonde walk in quick steps, with a box of doughnuts in her hands almost bumping into annoyed students. Brianna’s presence always caused a mix between admiration, fear, and disapproval in the students - depending on who they were.

In one hand, she could snitch on the secret parties and end that. It would be great for her academic life, and she would make the school a better place for everyone. She was fighting against it for so long, it would be paradise to end the parties, and fire that damn security. But on the other hand Aquaria would be disappointed… No. Aquaria blackmailed her, she would show the video and Brianna could lose her position, or be kicked of the student council. That damn video, that damn song, Brianna scolded herself for being just another teenager lost in the music.

A thing came into her mind: she couldn’t snitch on the troublemakers. The blackmailing was way too serious, she knew Aquaria wasn’t the kind of girl who’d do this, and her friends were behind this. Brianna believed Aquaria had something good inside her, but she couldn’t say the same about her friends. It was like all her hard work and dedication was fading away from her hands. The rooms, of course it was the rooms, they were way too distant from the rest of the academy. Brianna really needed to suggest that room change, but would it work? Ending the parties would work, but for her own sake, she couldn’t.

All Brianna could do was to go to her dorm, tie her hair in a bun, adjust the student council president pin on her blazer, and grab a cup of coffee and a box of doughnuts. The coffee was because Brianna couldn’t work without it - it was her weakness; she knew it was an addiction but she couldn’t stop it, otherwise she would be a sleepy incoherent mess - and the doughnuts… Well, the student council president has to make the other members happy, and Brianna took that duty seriously.

The student council room smelled like coffee, cleaning products, and ink; it reminded Brianna of home. Weirdly, one of her safe places was that room. Not when it was crowded, and with her being the perfect leader she was raised to be, but it was home when she was alone. Brianna had the keys, and it wasn’t an infraction so she could come there any time she wanted to. She loved to sit there, and read a book with her cup of coffee - that kind of thing made her feel like herself once in a while.

It didn’t take long for somebody to be very happy with the box she brought in her hands:

‘’Oh my god Brianna you’re the best, you brought doughnuts!’’ Courtney ran to her. ‘’Duh, literally, you’re the best since you’re boss lady.’’

It was surprisingly early for Courtney Act - their pretty popular Australian exchange student - to arrive. Courtney was one of the rich kids who studied there, a very known one, and it would be stupid to put one of them on her team - since they were all snobby and carefree - but Courtney caught her attention. Brianna needed people to vote on her team back in student council elections, but the people she picked were efficient, but not popular: Eureka was known for being as nerdy as Brianna was; Vixen was dislikedby a lot of people because of her aggressive ways; Sasha was a weirdo; and Brooke and Kameron were the reserved kind. Courtney was an average student, but even if she was a little bit dorky sometimes, she had people in the palm of her hands with her bright Australian smile.

‘’Hi Courtney, wow that’s early. I’m impressed.’’

‘’I arrived earlier than you.’’ She stuck her tongue out. ‘’I heard people saying you arrived late in French, ugh, that’s off.’’

One thing Brianna didn’t like about Courtney: she didn’t respect Brianna like everyone else. It was literally the only thing about the blonde that got her on her nerves, but she let it pass since she arrived early. Brianna was a fair leader.

‘’Personal problems, nothing you should worry about.’’

‘’Good morning,’’ Sasha and Vixen mumbled together, entering the door.

‘’Good morning, you two. Bri brought doughnuts.’’ Courtney grabbed the box and waved it in the air. God, did she knew it would ruin the doughnuts? It made Brianna very annoyed.

‘’Courtney, sweetheart, I brought doughnuts but you shouldn’t wave them in the air…’’

‘’And she doesn’t like being called Bri! It’s Brianna!’’

And it was Eureka. Brianna wasn’t friends or enemies with anyone at student council, but she could say she despised Eureka. They always competed in everything, and it was a surprise when Brianna asked her to be her vice-president. The blonde wasn’t dumb, she knew Eureka would make it work more than anyone else. She was so… Loud. Brianna concluded that she didn’t really like people, but had to put a smile on her face every single morning.

‘’And I could’ve said it myself.’’

A silence was installed in the room.

‘’Delicate like a petal,’’ Sasha joked.  
  
‘’That’s inappropriate, Sasha.’’

Brianna swore she could cut the ginger with her eyes. She saw Sasha gulp: fear was a common expression in the eyes of her student council mates - it was better than disrespecting her, and she knew they secretly knew it was for their own good.

Finally, Kameron and Brooke arrived, so they could start their meeting. They took their seats quietly, mumbled a ‘’good morning,’’ and grabbed their notes - as secretaries, they had to do many.

Somehow they all worked well together: Brianna was the president, the head girl; Eureka was the vice-president, the lock to Brianna’s key, even if they despised each other a little bit, their brains together were too powerful; Courtney was the social representative, she would bring what was happening and what people wanted in school, besides doing polls and promoting things; Vixen was the sports representative, she took care that their school was valued by body, mind, and soul. Even if she was aggressive, she knew how to handle things, Brianna admired that; Sasha was the art representative, she took care of all the art events and matters; Kameron and Brooke were secretaries. They did the paperwork - and did that wonderfully, they were excellent in their execution.

Brianna remembered election time fondly. It was when she saw the announcement , one year ago, she remembered the joy in her eyes: in one year studying at Charles Academy, she heard a lot about the student council - that was her goal since she got in - and now it was time for another election: her time to shine.

She remembered how she had to leave her rivalry with Eureka behind, and how well they worked together. Courtney helped to promote their campaign so fast, they found the perfect sports representative - Vixen was captain of the girls’ basketball team, and very popular between them - Sasha had so many avant-garde ideas perfect for art, and Brooke and Kameron literally did all the bureaucracy with a smile on their faces.

The other team was a blur for her, and for everyone. Brianna’s team won the majority of votes, she heard rumors that even the other boy who were running for president voted for her. They were the dream team, and even if Brianna acknowledged how brilliant she was, she knew she would be nothing without them. She worked so hard to get there, she remembered all the tours with new students - in which she meet Aquaria - all the muffins she helped Courtney to distribute, all nights without sleep till the day the principal called her name in the school’s auditorium…

‘’Should we start?’’ Brianna asked politely, taking her president chair.

They all nod silently, Brianna grabbed her cup of coffee. ‘’First, Vixen, there’s a basketball championship coming, what’s on the matter for that?’’

And the meeting proceeded perfectly as usual. They discussed sports, and then the talent show - where Sasha got very upset for the disinterest of students on art, and Courtney was assigned to promote it. Brooke and Kameron showed her the last grades they got from the teachers - a success, Courtney babbled non-stop about the social issues in their school, even if her rich friends were the ones who bullied the scholarship students, but Brianna had to swallow that - Courtney was helpful in a lot of things, she was just… A little bit ignorant.

The topic suddenly became the troublemakers. It was a well discussed topic in their meetings, the troublemakers weren’t a chill thing - it needed to be discussed . Brianna talked about the room change, and gulped hard when Eureka asked her why.

‘’They all are very close, if we put them apart…’’

‘’And put them with good people that have nothing to do with them?’’ Eureka cocked one eyebrow. ‘’Not very smart of you, Brianna, we keep them isolated from the rest because they need to be.’’

Jesus, Brianna wanted her to choke - but she would never say it out loud; it was impolite.

Brianna tried to change the topic, but it came back to the troublemakers, the secret party thing was on her throat daring to come out.

‘’There’s that Aquaria Noodles, she’s evil.’’ Courtney pouted, with her accent that made everything she said dorkier.

‘’Aquaria Needles,’’ Brianna corrected, but the name gave her chills. ‘’And I think there’s more than evil to her to be honest’’

‘’Are you protecting that whore?’’ Vixen slammed the table.

Brianna gave her a cold look, she knew it was enough to stop Vixen’s random anger attacks.

‘’Sorry, Brianna, she keeps coming to the female team games and… Distracting my players, it would be terrible damage to the team. They have to follow the rules you know they can’t fuck her-’’

‘’Acceptable, but language, Vixen, always.’’

‘’And there’s Adore Delano too. I don’t know even how she didn’t got expelled. The number of warnings she got, every time I see one more in the system, it’s just a normal day to me.’’ Kameron addressed something, a rare event.

‘’Her dad is a famous musician, duh.’’ Courtney rolled her eyes. ‘’To be honest, she is kinda hot…’’

And Brianna thought her messy thoughts for Aquaria were unacceptable , Courtney literally said that out loud with zero worrying. Brianna frowned in disgust. At least she kept them on her mind, Courtney was so oblivious.

‘’What? I’m human!’’

 _''Well darling, to be in the student council you have to sell your soul and lose your humanity’',_ Brianna thought, and laughed to herself.

‘’What about the secret parties, Brianna?’’

Damn Eureka. Brianna could feel how red her cheeks got, but how could Eureka know? She knew Aquaria’s friends didn’t share the video, they made a deal - more like blackmailing, but it was a deal.

‘’They are a real trouble, and guaranteed I’m working on it. Brooke, I need you to write a request to the principal to more random stakeouts and-’’

‘’It doesn’t seem like you are…’’

‘’What do you mean?’’ She gulped, but Eureka couldn’t know, right?

Eureka smirked with an evil look. If Brianna ever dared to swear, she would have said, ‘’Fuck.’’

‘’I got some material about the secret parties, let me just find it.’’ Eureka grabbed a laptop and clicked on some video, Brianna hoped it was some anonymous video from the party, or something else.

But it was her, dancing and feeling the music, feeling herself. A reminder she could never be herself, right in front of everyone. The shame consumed her face, tears wanted to come out, but all she let go was a sigh - even if she was dying inside.

Eureka paused the video, smiling. ‘’How can you explain this?’’

For the first time, Brianna Cracker didn’t know what to say. Everyone was shook, silence remained in the room - just as it was before anyone arrived, as they were ghosts, too shook for saying anything.

‘’I am asking for a trial,’’ Eureka announced. ‘’As vice-president I have the right to until the day you are out. Depending on what they decide, maybe you’re never will step in this room again.’’

Brianna couldn’t even believe it.

‘’Look, you could have snitched them, and instead you danced? You were out of bed on curfew? I’m sure you drank, what a shame! This school needs somebody who takes things seriously.

Who gave you the right to speak this way to me? Brianna thought ‘Fucking cunt, fuck fuck fuck fuck. Well, her mind could swear.

‘’...For today, dismissed,’’ Brianna used all the strength that lasted in her body to say that.

‘’Don’t worry Bri, it’s the last time you will say that.’’

Now she was alone, at ‘’home’’ that never would be her home again: falling into pieces on the floor, she knew she would never have peace anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yoooooo It's me, I'm alive  
> I'm really sorry for being THAT long without posting I was just without inspiration for this fic and thought on giving up a lot of times (also because craquaria sort of died), but YAY I wrote something!!  
> I'm also sorry for the sad ass chapter, and for Brianna... It broke my heart doing it with her but we have to follow the plot heh  
> @ artificialmeggie is amazing and the best beta in the world, fr  
> hope you liked it <3 there will be another chapter so don't worry


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